Life since quitting… a writing exploration

It’s quite amazing how quickly life has been unfolding since I quit my job. First, I transitioned from being more withdrawn and keeping to myself to attending workshops, meeting people, and building a new network of friends and fellow “journeyers”.  It’s like the moment that I was clear to myself and the world that I was ready to move forward, everything started just clicking into place; a chain reaction was sparked and just keeps going! Each day is a new discovery into greater depths of me, my desires, my thoughts on life.

(statues from Singapore Botanic Gardens that capture my emotions: freedom/bliss and peace/calm)

I started participating in a Writer’s circle, where the point is not to critique or praise one another’s work (that’s not allowed), but to “free write”, where through prompts, we write spontaneously and intuitively, with no judgment of our writing or that of others.  We then take turns reading our writings out loud.  Because you don’t edit as you write, when you read your piece out loud, its like you’re reading it, and meeting a new part of yourself for the first time.  The experience really is profound.  A couple of times when I started to read my piece, chills came over me, emotions washed through me and I felt like I wanted to cry.  Me?? The ham who loves speaking in front of a group? But being that vulnerable in front of strangers can be scary, yet it’s also liberating. We each share pieces of ourselves that are enlightening, entertaining, motivating, uplifting, and every once in a while a tad bit confusing, too. Nevertheless, I’m amazed and at what beautiful combinations of words we all manage to string together in these short periods of writing time. And to tie these readings up with a bow, at the end of each mini-writing session, Jane creates a new piece, which is the amalgamation of striking phrases from each of our pieces. Profound stuff, I tell ya! Many great bonds have been forged from this group.  I’m just the newcomer, but I already see and feel the profound power of the circle. I’m sad that Jane, (http://flamingseed.com/teaching/), the creator of this group has just left to return to the US and then South America. But the group will go on!!

Don’t know why I feel compelled to do this, but in the spirit of the sharing of the blog, I will share a couple pieces that I wrote.  So the way it works is that we receive a prompt of a few short words to complete, and then just start to write and keep writing until time is up. Please keep in mind, this is unedited, just the raw, extemporaneous expression from a moment in time. But an accurate reflection of part of this journey and what I am seeking and finding.

Prompt: What if?
What if I died? What would it feel like? What, or who would I become? Where would I go? I grew up being taught the answers to these questions, but what do we really know until our time comes? Will I be willing to go? Prepared? What does that look like? How does one prepare for death, the hereafter?

What if everything that I thought would happen doesnt? Will I be disappointed? Amazed? In awe? What will I have to say for myself? My actions and accomplishments? Will I have to account for all the innermost thoughts?

What if our accounting was not in what we did, but what we didn’t do? What if we are held accountable for every fear that we dont overcome. For every time we dont pursue our passions, and our deepest desires? What if we must face the accounting of every missed love, missed compliment, missed connection with our higher selves? Now what if I knew that and could change?

What if I can live my life in the now, in the true, in the core. What if I say everything I desire, share the love that dwells deep within and remove fear? What if I just start trying then I discover that I can do and be everything and all that my heart desires? Will I?

Prompt: Something is hidden…

Something is hidden in my life. Deep down inside that I’ve been afraid to let come out. I don’t know where it resides, or why it hides. It’s just there, waiting for the inopportune time to come out.

Something is hidden. It hides from me, or do I from it? All I know is the longer we remain parted, the greater it festers and grows, expanding it’s tentacles to take hold. Begging for a voice, a forum, a venue. 

Something is hidden from the world. It’s the real me.

(the timer hadn’t yet gone off, and this was how I learned that I needed to keep writing, that thumb twiddling wasn’t really an option! So part B….)

Something is hidden from us all. We move too fast to see it. Slow down, down, down.
By the wayside must we be to see. Stillness from the world allows us all to be.  

Bringing into focus, coming alive. A new world, life, arises out of the stillness. Slowly, newly making it’s way, it’s self known. The same, nothing has changed, yet all is new.  All seems suddenly real, moreso than ever before.

I want to scream, to embrace, to see, to feel. I love the awakening. I love the breath.  Freshness of air allowing me to breathe for the first time. Life of newness, of discovery, of creation. 

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5 Responses to Life since quitting… a writing exploration

  1. Sarah says:

    Well . . . I don’t have to follow those rules about critiquing or not critiquing. You’re GOOD. I’ve said before that you could write a book. This proves it. Your prose flowed without benefit of an eraser, and I couldn’t find anything wrong with it. Compelling, interesting. What you share of yourself makes it all the more interesting. So, there.

  2. Danica says:

    Zuri – I have been anxiously awaiting your next post. As usual, you did not disappoint. I am so in awe of your journey and want to thank you for taking this ride and sharing it for those who could/would not take the leap. You may not know this, but your journey is helping so many others. I will at least speak for myself. I have found that following your blog has allowed me to dream, think, feel, and DO! Thank you so much for sharing yourself with us!

  3. Beautiful and profound and I’m so grateful that you decided to share it with us:) You are doing such amazing ‘work’ … for all of us! Thank you!!

  4. lorainindia says:

    Thanks for the update. You’re definitely going deep, and it’s awesome that you’ve shared this. Seems to be quite an explorative process. And you’ve positioned yourself within a wonderful sounding environment without stresses, worries, ties, and baggage (and least less). Enjoy the PROCESS though it sounds like you already are. Love you and am very, very proud of you. Laura

  5. Shawn says:

    Amazing and so profound! You are a true example to all. You took a leap of faith and have found new journeys. No turning back! Love reading your blogs, so inspiring.

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